It turns out it’s ridiculously easy to join something called the “UN Global Compact”. You just create a business, prepare a “letter of commitment” to the Compact’s principles, and then upload that letter signed by the CEO to their website.

However, it doesn’t mean the Compact will let you stay friends with them forever. But maybe, it’ll be long enough to upload a letter pleading with the UN, suggesting that Julian Assange was grooming an eight year old for sex.

Wait, what?