NSA Transcript MOST Secret 54/6AT/900042/367bb 10/17/ 13

10.42 a.m. CET

VOICE: Chancellor.

SUBJECT: Ja.

VOICE: It’s Steffen.

SUBJECT: Steffen I’m busy.

VOICE: Angela, this is urgent.

SUBJECT: Surely it can wait till the Security Review this afternoon?

VOICE: I’m afraid not.

SUBJECT: But I’m on a call to Hollande. He’s such a schmuck. He thinks if you can’t cook

it or schtup it you should cut it. That’s his economic policy. He’s such a dork…

VOICE: Madame Chancellor I have to warn you….

SUBJECT: He’s so dumb he couldn’t find his ass in the dark on his own. Luckily he’s French

so he doesn’t have to. (Laughs loudly.)

VOICE: Madame Chancellor….

SUBJECT: I’d give him a dildo for his birthday but he’s already married to one…(laughs.)

VOICE: Stop talking!

SUBJECT: Vas?

VOICE: Shut up already. I’m very sorry Madame Chancellor, but this is not a secure line.

VOICE: This is my cell phone Steffen. You gave it to me. You’re telling me it’s not secure?

VOICE: That is what I’m saying. You are being tapped.

SUBJECT: By whom?

VOICE: The Americans.

SUBJECT: Scheissdumbfer (incomprehensible.)